Jess Knits a bit

Typical Monday

Yes today is a typical Monday. Co-worker called in sick, other coworker is being a douche as usual, and other coworker is sick and upset....So nothing new. This weekend was blah I ended up with a migraine Friday night so I did not get to sit and watch Rent and drink wine and knit like I had planned instead I went to bed at 8 after taking a muscle relaxer and like 3 excedrin migraines. Saturday uneventful....took Celia to the dog park for an hour or so and then Amy came over to raid my closet for her latest eharmony date, which turned out fantastic for her. Then I met up with Lee Darcy and Kelly for dinner and beer at Sunset and then we headed into town to see Dave Chapelle's Bloc Party. It was really funny. I would probably wait for it on DVD but still it was funny! Then yesterday I had to deposit money and since my bank is out in Westborough I spent the afternoon at my parents house. Celia got to play with their dog Dhesia and me and my mom spent an hour or so looking at my eharmony matches.

Speaking of Eharmony Jess and Erin were over Thur night to help me answer it cause its kinda hard answering questions about yourself without help. And after a couple bottles of wine and a bloody nose fromlaying on the bed and playing with Celia, Erin decided she still wanted to play with Celia(who is 55 lbs of pure muscle and when excited jumps back and forth and back and forth regardless of who or what is in her way). SO Erin laid back again and comes up with her hand over her nose and all of a sudden blood pours out....Celia's nail had caught Erin right  in the nose and basically ripped it from the inside of her nostril to the tip. SO needless to say our night ended Erin went to meet her fiance at the hospital and proceeded to get stitches and then have to call AAA because her car wouldn't start.

I feel horrible but what can you do? And being the animal lover Erin is, she realizes it wasn't Celias fault, she was just playing and loving having her Aunt Erin over. She instantly put her head down and  was quiet as soon as she thought she hurt her.

Anyway thats all I'm not feeling very fun and creative today so you get the facts and the basics nothing good. Sorry maybe tomorrow....

And its Thursday

SO out of my first 5 matches on eharmony...one of the dudes is from Clinton. WTF????(for those who don't know I've only had 2 boyfriends in my life and they have both been from Clinton)...Maybe he just lives there now and isn't actually from there but its still wierd out of all the places within 50 miles one of the first people I get is from clinton...Oh yeah and he's 27 which means if he isfrom there he knows Steve.

SO anyway I still really really don't want to do this but Steve's stepping away so I need to straight move on and the only way I can do that is to go on a date. Ugh....So I got morematches today and these dudes are all like 5'8. I never considered myself that tall but man when I look at the heights I just go...ughhh.... in my head...  anyway Jess and Erin are gonna comeover tnight  So we can catchup and so they can help me with thisprofile thingcause its hard to do by yourself!!! And I need some help getting some better quality guys.

blah this is ghey why couldn't steve and I just be more compatable...fucker. Sucks cause I still care way too much!

Yeah WINE TONIGHT!

today

So its today...another day. My roommate finally showed up last night. I really was beginning to think he might be dead or in the hospital. So he shows up puts a check on the fridge(just to cover rent) and says I'll be back with more money later in the week...Hmmmm I've heard this before.

This chick he supposedly met randomly at a bar while out with Julie, the other chick he was dating when he first moved in, was talking to them both and asked him about his job and said 'Oh my friends are looking for a mortgage broker do you have a card?' She called him later on in the week and didn't really need anyone to sell her a mortgage she just wanted his number. SO he set up a date with her. Well apparently in between Julie and him stopping seeing each other which was like a 2 week process while he was dating the new one, and his exfiance being over all weekend until Valentines day morning and this new lady whom he spent valentines day evening with...she asked him to watch her animals while she was away.

She was gone for 12 days so he decided to give Steve and I our space since Steve was at 'the apartment a bunch'....oh yeah wait I got home Monday afternoon from N Carolina to him and his ex-fiance, who had been there all weekend. But Steve was at the apartment until Wed evening, so he was there a bunch...yeah...anyway...I had not actually seen him since that Wed. I could tell he had been at the apartment to pick up clothes because there would be a hanger on his bed or the kitchen light would be off when I always leave it on during the day for Celia.

So anyway he comes home finally last night after I text him to make sure he's OK(and I wanted $$ but just asked if he was OK) with no response....and he's all in love.

SO I asked about her and he's telling me all this stuff and they never stop talking and they don't get to sleep at all cause they talk so much and he's never been happier(blech!). SO I tell him I just signed up for eharmony. He goes wanna know a secret thats where I met this one?????? Well match.com

So I go "wait I thought you met her while you were out with"... and he jumps in and say "yeah thats the story but the first time I really met her was when I took her to that place you told me about remember? Tapas?"

Oh OK? SO does this sound weird to anyone but me??? Why would you make up such an elaborate story about meeting someone? If you really met her on Match.com what if it works out, which apparently it is, and you have to start telling people the truth? WTF? I'm so confused, why would not just be like Oh I met her a bar. Why would you go into such detail? Weird just weird. So I have no idea what to believe about this girl or this guys life in general. WTF?

SO anyway yeah I joined eharmony. I actually don't really want to be doing it but I guess its an easy way to kind of move on without actually really moving on. Because I really don't want to be dating anyone, I want to be alone for a while, but have to move on or else Steve and I are going to be stuck in the same place for a long long time. We've already been stuck in the same place for a long long time

So go on a couple dates with the least effort possible. I don't have to go out to a bar and meet anyone. I won't really feel bad being like yea sorry cause I can just send them an email saying thanks but no thanks...ha. Although I already had one guy out of my 5 matches close me out without even talking to me because I said something that he didn't like...personally I think its because his profile says he 5'6" which really means 5' 4 1/2" and you all know I did nothing but be myself in the profile so....I probably won't go on any dates anyway but at least I tried right? haha

So yeah anyway the bitches are gonna be here at work soon...so thats all for now.

So I think I really did it

I am mostly giving up myspace.  I can't deal with it anymore. Its so not worth all the pain and frustration it has caused me for the last 2 years. and since I spent so much time writing a farewell note I don't have time to say more on here right this second..But I will....this is my new therapy prepare to be bored out of your mind!

someone

please tell me again why I don't quit this place???? I'm so fucking stressed out between all my family shit and moving my brother down to NC I so could've used a day off this week and atually would've taken one but every single person in this office was out at least one day this week. Except me. I fucking hate this place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Someone please help me!

stress

I swear to god I am missing eyelashes all of a sudden....I knew I should've done a project I have due tomorrow last week. I just had a feeling. But no I waited and Maria was out on Mon, Kelly was out on Tues, Lisa called in today. Plus at least one of the 4 girls upstairs has been out sick all week as well. On top of all that I left 2 hrs early to go see my Dad in the hospital last night....who's been in since Monday. Things look better for him this week but if he doesn't need a pace maker this week I'm sure it'll just be a matter of time til he does. My Mom was in the ER Sat night with chest pains and my Mom NEVER goes to the hospital so she really had to be bad....I am driving down to North Carolina in a week  with my brother because he's moving there. And the family dinner that we were going to have is quickly turning into a big GTG....and with everything that my parents are dealing with I'm going to have to take care of it.....all the while I haven't been able to find time to finish my hat with the new needles I bought. I have no clean clothes, my bedroom is such a mess I can't find anything and usually I can walk in and pick whatever I'm looking for out of my 'mess'. I can't find my Ipod. I'm pretty sure, actually I specifically remember taking it out of my car Fri  night so I could charge it and now its no where to be found. But between meeting up and making time for friends, being with the family and accidentally getting drunk off of one glass of wine I haven't had 2 seconds to do anything about it.....and this weekend isn't going to be any better....Celia has a vet appt sat at 12:30 we have Bills party, Sun is the superbowl and I could care less but roomie is having peeps over I've been asked by 3 other diff people what I'm doing and I feel bad saying no (because i still can't get rid of my stupid guilt complex) and Steve's gonna be back and wants to see me......can I please go on vacation now alone all by myself. Arrrgggg!

SO anyway sometime maybe I'll actually start a productive useful blog that people can read and enjoy but for now please hope that no more of my body hair falls out.

so people suck

But I'm sure this is not news to anyone....How some people can be so incredibly selfish and self absorbed as to think that anyone they are involved with needs to make all the effort in a relationship just suck. Good luck ever finding anyone to do that for you....

I've been fighting ending a relationship for such a long time too long, and for what reason? To be told to deal with it or stop talking to them. When all I 've done for the last 4 and a half years is deal with cheating and lies and being treated like shit. I'll be the first to admit I'm extremely jealous and insecure and that certainly didn't help. But I have done everything in my power to make it work including take meds. And thats not good enough. i have to go all the way and take all the responsibility while he goes out and parties and travels the country staying at this ones house or that ones house and then lying about it. FUCK YOU!

I'm done, I'm over it and I will not deal with being in a one sided 'relationship' anymore. Any one sided relationship friend boyfriend work or otherwise.

So I've decided this year is for me. I'm going to go on vacation. I just got a new car. I'm starting to see my knitting ladies on a regular basis again. And I'm almost done with the hat I had to start over once after Cecillia decided she wanted to play on top of it and that I messed up the pattern and had to redo about 3 rounds...so next I'll start the matching scarf and then on to my green sweater in a size that'll fit me. SO since I'm 85% done with the body of my green sweater that won't fit me I'll have a sweater to give away.....and I swear pics will be posted soon. I've been addicted to POGO games for the past 2 weeks and have done no uploading of pics or writing of blogs or knitting or laundry. But I have 130,000 points that I can on nothing....   : )

Ignore...ant

Yeah so I've been neglectful....between Steve being back and moving out and the holidays and my roommate moving in...I just haven't had time...or thought about it....and really I should be cleaning my room right now since I can't distinguish the clean from the dirty...so I'm gonna do it...and I'll be back and oh yeah the one knitting project I had going on while I was lying in bed cecillia jumped on me and ripped enough of it out that I had to ribbit and start over so I'm almost back where I was in the first place....

Yeah

Yeah me!!!! SO my friend Amy had an Xmas party at this place downtown called The Greatest Bar. She had a corporate event there and they gave her open access for her and whoever to come to this party.....I wasn't super excited to go kinda wanted to go home and get in bed which is what my routine from mid Dec to late Feb is. I think I may have SAD but thats a whole other thing.....

My new roommate was going, so I went. left work 10 minutes early to rush to Lush
grab some fabulous goodies for myself and to buy some fresh farmacy for a coworker that I turned onto it(thanks Jessica for getting me hooked). I took one street to early(anyone who's ever driven in downtown Boston knows what a pain in the ass that is) and had to drive up 3 blocks on Newbury St and circle back around on Boylston. Not horrible but in my state of anxiety and worry about being late a decent size knot in the stomach and feeling of having to use the facilities ensued....I pull up and lo and behold there is a spot directly in front of the store, of course its commercial vehicles only until 6 but I threw my hazards on(again if you've ever driven in Boston you know this is not a big deal unless its before noon) and ran in. Grabbed what I needed only one in line ran out hopped in the car and was on my merry(nervous stomach sweaty pits merry) way. So I get caught in some traffic but its only 5 so I'm feeling OK about it since I said I would be there at 5. I pull down the road I need to take to get to the bar and woohoo parking spots. So I park put my shit in the trunk. Cut through a parking lot take the corner and I'm there before Amy and Liz.

So we walk in and the owners are all up our bums nice because we know Amy and they give each one of us 5 raffle tickets. Free sangria free spiked eggnog and free pravda vodka drinks all night long. So we're hanging out having a good time wondering where Adrian and his friends are and they do a raffle....a free party and some wine blah blah.....the guy next to us wins. Then 7 o'clock is looming, Adrian is still not around we're txting him telling him the free booze runs out at 7 and the next raffle happens. They are giving away an IPod shuffle. They call a number no one claims it. They call another number again noone. So they announce "apparently noone wants an Ipod". I say to Amy and Liz I do. So they call a third number and guess what its my number!!!! Yeah me I just won a shuffle FOR FREE!!!!!!!

Adrian walks in with his girl a few minutes later and hilarity ensues! So Amy and Liz wait for the 8 oclock drawing before taking off for a coworkers dinner party. And they each leave me their tickets I write their names on the backs and say gnight to them. SO all of a sudden it 8:35 getting a bit tired I didn't want to stay much later than that in the first place but I decide to stick around for the 9 o'clock drawing.....sitting around the table they call a number.....noone.... they wait for a song and call another number...again noone....they wait 2 more minutes and then call another number and out of the 20 tickets on my table and everyone else in the bar they call my number again!

I won Celtics tickets first row on the floor. I really could care less about the Celtics but I've never been to a game before so if I'm ever going to go it might as well be free and it might as well be the best seats in the place right? Or maybe I'll sell them and make $150(and that's at face value).

So that was my evening of I don't want to go...I want bed.....so yeah me I can't wait to go home and play with my Ipod....I really feel like this is my kharma Chrismas(yes I left out the T because I don't celebrate Xmas as a religious holiday it a fun family holiday for me) present. I'm always fucking nice to people help them shovel help push their cars when their stuck hold open doors no matter how often people don't thank me or even acknowledge my small kindness's no matter that people never do it for me EVER. SO thank you universe I will enjoy!

yeah

So yesterday I was enlisted to drop off some friends at the airport on their way to London. while actually slightly sad I wasn't invited, I was fine. Would I have invited them on a vacation I had planned? So anyway dropped them off and just started crying?!? I'm thinking I really need a vacation. I was so depressed driving away from the airport. Its been over 2 yrs since I've been and I used to go all the time....

So I went home and created this place. I did finish knitting my hat that has been in a ball next to my bed since last winter. My first scarf was made out of the same Circus greyish blackish wool....pics posted soon.

And yesterday after the disappointment of not getting out and about I cleaned off my sewing desk and 'craft' area....and started knitting  a hat with this cool pattern my cousin gave me and a matching scarf for???? Someone else because its cheaper yarn and colors I would never wear. Hahaha is that horrible? Oh well....